JULIO & ESTER GUSTAVO – GODLY COURTING

Ester's side of the story.

Q1. Why did you choose to wait until marriage?

A1: During my university years, my best friend, turned mentor, who was also my matron of honor, told me she wanted her first kiss to be on the altar. In this day and age I thought is that even possible? Her stance gave me hope that it can be done. So as with many things she taught me, I’ve adopted it and made it my goal with God by my side. Believe it or not, my fist kiss was on the altar to my husband. To God be the glory.

I have kept myself, by God’s grace, for 30 years, I did not want to drop the ball now, that would just be regrettable, this kept me afloat.

Purity is important to God and from a place of obedience to God, we decided to wait. Showing that it can be done in this present day and age.

Firstly we chose to wait together because it’s God’s will for us to be pure just as He is pure.
Secondly because I didn’t want to be held back in marriage and still be struggling on account of not wanting to work at remaining pure.
Because as a born again Christian woman man I believe that certain things are just meant for marriage and if done before, you have nothing to look forward to when married because you have done it already. ( these three points too are hubby’s sharing)

Q2. As a saved couple How did u keep God in your wedding plans?

A1: We prayed together a lot and had our bridal party also pray. We even had Thursdays set up to fast every week. We prayed before deciding on things and always asked ourselves if God would be ok with this. We chose to honor God and make sure it was more about him than about the wedding. We kept reading the word daily, always checking our hearts before discussions and listening to the Holy Spirit at all times. Because of this discipline even our wedding colours were a suggestion from God.

Q3. Wedding planning is stressing, how did you resolve conflict?

A2: Conflict was there especially when we had to present to each other what our parents were campaigning for. We gave each other time to digest new information and prayed about it before asking family and friends for advice. We were also warned that, it is during a period such as this that most arguments and conflict arises, thank God we were prepared for it. Conflict isn’t easy, I always had to remind myself to speak in love and know that I am speaking to the person whom I want to spend the rest of my life with. We must remember that our words if said without love can make or break someone. So we chose to think before we spoke, not always got it every time, but when we realized, we quickly apologized and focused on the fact that it’s not a competition. We chose to think, listen with understanding and pray about it before any response. (This is hubby’s comment)

Q4: How did you know you were meant for him?

He had 3/4 of the character I wanted, being a child of God, being mentored, has a job and many preferences, such as a short surname, at the beginning of the alphabet. God is sweet.!

But what really sold me was that he had a heart for the youth.
He managed to say the right things.
I needed God to reveal something about me to him that he wouldn’t have known accept God revealed it to him.

I guess it was a little unfair as he was trying to get to know me, and I expected him to know something about me that only really close people would know.

THIS WAY I KNEW, HE WAS REALLY PRAYING ABOUT ME, AND WASN'T ONLY mesmerized BY MY BEAUTY.

Importantly, amongst all other flattering compliments, he disclosed that character that i needed to hear, because by that I knew he has a living relationship with God, and God vouched for him.
Every concern i had about him that would initially disqualify him, God would immediately nullify the concern with concrete evidence in his life. God was clearly on this guy’s side, and vouching for him. My friends & family were at ease with him. There were zero red flags.

I didn't just say yes to him at his first approach, because God first had to break some stereotypical thinking in me. I didn't not know he was the one, the day I laid eyes on him. In fact, it took a while because I did not have a dream that this is the man for me, I did not have a scripture that jumped out of the Bible at me, so I was very worried, because those are my go - to - signs that people have always used. But God spoke using my principles, using my godly desires and even my preferences. One of them, the man must do the pursuing, and boy, was I pursued! thanks Babe (smiles)

Julio’s side of the story

Q4: How did you know you were meant for her?

She tested me in a way that no other had before. She made me check my maturity level, like daily made me check my heart and helped me grow which is something you need in a wife.

She knew what she wanted in a husband but was willing to conform, she choose to learn also and became a friend before anything else, also praying about it first and asking God made it much easier for us. And learning to trust his guidance.

We gave this area over for Him to choose for us and make it happen.

Q5: How did you keep God at the center of your courting period and wedding planning?

A5: We both have very solid mentors who did not sugar coat nothing, we were accountable to them, and accountable to our close friends too. We had a praying group of warriors behind us, and our long coming relationship with God we kept going. We also kept Him at the center by listening to God and praying, by making sure we heed His word in the time of courtship and always speaking to our mentors and really taking it in. We made sure we prayed together daily before we slept. yes, daily I would call her, we would share our prayer requests, and pray over them.

Q6: How long was the proposal?

A6: We were courting officially from March 2016 to January 2017. Got engaged in January 2017 and got married in August 2017. WE both agree on this.

Q7: Any advice to the 21st century men and women in general, both born again and not born again?

God is a God of purpose, a God of order, everything He does, He does for a purpose, why would it be any different for your marriage life? We allowed God to do the choosing for us, because if we had to choose ourselves, we would choose what looks good now but may not look so good after five years. But God knows what happens in five years, He knows who you will be in years to come and who would best suit to be by your side in the coming years with all life’s ups and downs. Trust that He knows the future better, and that He knows you best, and allow Him to do the match making. This doesn’t exempt you from troubles, it gives you grace and courage to handle the issues of life, because you know that God initiated this marriage, and if He did, then He has but good plans for it.